THE FLY WAMPERS

It was a typical boring day doing grocery shopping.  I was looking for emery boards, when my eyes glanced beside them and came to rest on false eye lashes.  This was something I never used, so my thoughts went back to choosing emery boards.  Then mischief hit me.  Why not locate the longest fly wampers I could find and bring them home?  So I did, along with the necessary glue.

Just before John came home from work I made my first clumsy attempt to put them on.  Following the instructions on the glue, I was to make a thin line of glue just above my own eye lashes.  A tiny amount of pressure on the glue tube resulted in a large blob coming out and gluing my eye lid shut!  This was not going well!  It took some maneuvering to remove the glue from my eye and pull it out of my tear duct like a wine cork.  Tears gushed out!  Now what?  I took a moment to re-think the instructions, coming to the conclusion that whoever wrote them hadn’t done this themselves and wasn’t looking out for the customer. It was time to do something better. I slowly put the glue on the thin edge of each fly wamper, then pressed each one just above my own eye lashes. It worked!   

What I wasn’t ready for was the wind they created when I blinked my eyes! Swish!  Swish!  Wow! I was convinced I really could wamp a fly across the room.   I was getting the hang of this.

The ultimate part of my joke was John, who came home from work, noticed my fly wampers and said, “OH!  What long eye lashes you have!”  The look of incredulous surprise frozen on his face as he stared at me was the ultimate, precious reward.

During supper John leaned over and said, “Your right one is slightly crooked.”  Goodness!  He was getting helpful about them now!        

You are never too old to be young!

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